Intimate Partner Betrayal
Intimate partner betrayal affects millions of people worldwide. Women and men who experience betrayal are often silenced due to a lack of knowledge, awareness, and advocacy. We want to change the narrative that “it’s just cheating”. Betrayal dismantles the betrayed partner’s sense of reality, harms their cognitive abilities, and shatters trust in themselves and their partners. It is a form of relational abuse that often leads to betrayal trauma, which takes years of recovery work to heal.
Betrayed partners deserve to be……
BELIEVED.
Heard.
Honored.
INTIMATE PARTNER BETRAYAL
THE FACTS
Do we really need to talk about this publicly?
YES
Betrayed partners often suffer in shame and isolation. At a time when they need support, they are left in the shadows. We need to change the narratives that blame and judge the victims of betrayal. Public awareness and advocacy are key.
Is it only considered betrayal if my partner had a sexual relationship with someone?
NO
Intimate partner betrayal includes any form of infidelity that violates the safety and trust of the relationship. This could include things like sexting, visiting massage parlors or chat rooms, viewing and liking sexual content on social media, or having emotionally engaging conversations with another person.
Am I making a big deal out of nothing?
NO
The discovery of intimate partner betrayal can be traumatic. It is a BIG DEAL. Unfortunately, many well-intentioned but ill-informed people think betrayal is something you just “get over.” Recovering from betrayal requires safety and stability, an opportunity to grieve and process your pain, and a trusted path forward.
Am I bashing my partner by telling others about the betrayal?
NO
We need the ability to share our stories in safe spaces. In her book, Truth and Repair, Judith Herman says, “Survivors want to tell their stories, not to punish, but to be believed, to be heard, and to be acknowledged. Telling the truth is the beginning of justice.”
Is the betrayal my fault?
NO
You are a victim of the betrayal, but it is not your fault. Educating yourself on betrayal will help you to see that your partner’s choices are not about you. Their choices greatly impact you, but you are not the cause.
Do I need to get help since it’s not my fault?
YES
Although the betrayal is not your fault, you will need support to heal. Your partner made choices that caused harm. Just as we need doctors for physical wounds, we need trained professionals to heal emotional and psychological wounds.
